beetroots:

welcome or transitioning without transitioning 

we’re going to need the name and address

of every gay boy your ex best friends 

ever made fun of you for having a crush on

we’ll be sending them a hand lettered invitation

.

and a photograph of your new mascara mustache 

.

fill out these forms

use a number two pencil

do not writing in ink,

and save your lipstick for the mirror

.

you’ll want to change your answers later

.

here’s the number

of your ex boyfriend’s

ex girlfriend

you’ll like her

.

she’s cute

.

here is a dental dam

a girl scout handbook

a prescription for testosterone

and the collected works of neruda

.

translated impeccably by a tender hearted three hundred pound drag queen

.

here are directions to the nearest water park

two quartz points

a vial of cedar wood oil

and the tooth of an anonymous mammal

.

you’ll be needing them

.

you will have to find your own secret codes

secret handshakes, secret places

secrets are as essential as favorites

i cannot help you find a favorite place

.

though i can recommend this little Vietnamese restaurant with the purple awning by the post office

.

you will be issued a bottle of hydrogen peroxide 

a needle, thread, and a bottle of india ink

a fifth of whiskey 

you must supply your own courage but you may keep the number two pencil

.

choose your words and symbols wisely for these you cannot change

.

we’re sorry for this but you will be evaluated

on your ability to memorize and execute an ideal pancake recipe

your knowledge of the works of john waters

and the speed with which you can remove a brasier 

.

the last test may be executed on yourself or a willing volunteer 

.

i can assure you there will be change

i can assure you these skills will come in handy

i cannot promise you that things will get better

and i cannot promise you things will be okay

.

the lawyers simply won’t allow me to

.

i’m going to need your name, shoe size, and pronouns

you may select a new name and new pronouns at any time

though the lawyers want me to inform you

it may not be well received 

.

it is unlikely that your shoes size will change again, but we can’t be sure of anything

.

anyway, we’ll be seeing you soon

on rocky beaches

sheathed in copper lammé 

peach and pocketknife in sunburnt hands

a yell rising in your bitter sugar throat

like wildfire